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10 Things I Hate About Training for Motocross

by Racer X Virtual Trainer

Guys.....just don't

I was sitting at my computer the other night listening to Lettermen’s top ten list in the background and had an idea to do a top ten list of my own. The past few weeks have been tough for me, so my pessimistic nature is at an all time high. With negative thoughts running rampant in my head, I decided to compile a list of The Top Ten Things I Hate Most About Training. Maybe once I snap out of this funk, I’ll do a top ten list of the things I love about training, but until then, this is me being negative!

1.) Thinking About Training All Day Long. I don’t know about you, but thinking about training all day drives me nuts. I know, I know, I should love to workout, and I do enjoy the workout; it’s just the thought of going to the gym after working all day wears me out. I wish I were a morning person, so I could get the workout out of the way, but I’m not. Congratulations to those that are morning people. I commend you. But for me, a real night owl, sometimes I don’t get to the gym until 9 or 10 at night. I really enjoy the days that I don’t have to train. So sue me!!!

2.) Muscle Heads at the Gym That Don’t Train Their Legs. You have all seen this guy at the gym. Hell, I was once that guy, only a little smaller. I used to hate training my legs, now its one of my favorite body parts. I know why these guys don’t train there legs; it hurts too damn much. Nothing like taking the biggest muscle in your body and making it burn like pouring salt in an open wound. Pain like that seems to stay with you for a few days. That’s why the muscle heads don’t train their legs. Now I'm all about squats, deadlifts, kettlebell swings, etc. I see not training your legs as a weakness; and I hate that.

3.) Crowded Gyms. For me, it’s hard enough to get motivated to put myself through an hour and half of misery, but to add a crowded gym to the mix is something I truly hate. Since I’m not a morning person, I have to go to the gym with the rest of the peasants after work. I finally get the kids taken care of and the wife pacified for a 2-hour hall pass, to get there and find that everyone else had the exact same idea. Standing around waiting for gym equipment just sucks. Hey wait, the squat rack is open!

4.) People That Just Want to Talk While You’re Working Out. With a crowded gym comes the ever present chatty person who is there to socialize more than workout. The poser is one of my all time worst pet peeves. What’s even worse is when you try to be subtle and just start working out and the person follows you and just keeps talking. Ahhhh, go away; don’t they know I only have an hour left before I start to hear the wife’s voice in my head.

5.) Infomercials. I really hate the way they sell to the stupid people. Do this ab machine for 10-seconds a day and you too can look just like Schven. People must be eating this crap up since the infomercial doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. What I really hate is that these commercials make me very cynical. What if one of the machines is beneficial and I overlook it because I assume that they all suck. Why do they have to make it look so damn easy? I don’t know about you, but I’m never smiling like that while I’m working out.

6.) No Pain …. No Gain. Man do I hate that slogan. To me, the slogan should be, “no pain…no pain.” Now that is something I can sink my teeth into. I know, you have to work the muscle to the point of pain to have any effect. That’s what I hate about it. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could think your muscles into shape? Who knows, maybe we can. They say that we only use 10 % of our brain or something like that. Maybe the other 90% is for training our muscles without lifting a finger. The next time your veggin’ on the couch, try thinking of being in better shape. Who knows, maybe I discovered something; a new infomercial maybe? Wait, I got it. I'll develop an App for that!

7.) People Who Try to Make Diet and Exercise Complicated. What drives me completely nuts are people at the gym who like to tell you how many calories or carbs they have had that day, and how much they have been working out. Can’t they see I’m busy trying to think myself into better shape? Seriously though, diet and exercise are really quit simple. Eat a smart well balanced diet, and exercise three to four times per week. If you are looking for world class results, then hire a trainer and make it as complicated as you like. Otherwise, model your diet after the KISS model (Keep it Simple Stupid).

Talk about stupid. I'd give anything to see how confused his muscles are when that ball breaks.

8.) Training My Abs. For some reason I have never been able to get those six-pack abs. I really hate those guys (and girls) that are able to get the perfect six-pack. I used to have a pretty decent 4-pack, but I traded it in for a 12-pack. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Doing a thousand sit-ups and maintaining the perfect diet just seems like too much work. What the hell, who needs a six-pack when you’re married with children. Maybe I’ll just blame it on my age. I can now ride the +45 class. Ouch, that hurts to say.

9.) Feeling Like Your Gonna Puke. I’m sure you have been there. We all have. That feeling that you get right after that last set of plyometric squats or at the 10K mark on the Concept2. Every muscle in your body is begging for relief and somehow it all comes down to the stomach.

10.) Catch Phrases Like Muscle Confusion, Boot Camp, and Super Foods. Typically these phrases are used most by people who are on-again off-again fitness types. For those brand new to fitness I try to look the other way and gently guide them in the right direction. But what I find unforgivable are the trainers who should know better using these terms. First of all there is never a time when a muscle is confused. "Oh no, do I extend or flex...I'm a muscle and I'm so confused!" Definitely one of the dumbest fitness phrases ever coined. Second, boot camp? Really? Join the military if you want to see a real boot camp. Calling a workout a boot camp session makes me want to punch people in the throat. And please, please, PLEASE....if you are serious enough to qualify for Lorettas be smart enough to know that a boot camp in July is too late. And third, don't even get me started on Super Foods. Lately it seems as though people have slapped "super" in front of foods that have been around since the beginning of time and market them like they are newly discovered. They act as if the Acai berry has never crossed a human's lips. Nothing wrong with these foods and I certainly believe in their power, but calling them Super is just stupid.

Well that'll do for now. I have more but I don't want you to think all I do is complain and everything pisses me off. But really, the shake weight? Come on people!

That's it for now, until next time, good luck with your training and remember, if you have a question, log on to the Virtual Trainer Expert Forum and have your question answered by a panel of experts. In addition, be sure and check out the Racer X Virtual Trainer archive section. Your complete one-stop information zone for motocross fitness. VT Signature

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  1. Gravatar
    Allen Gnuschke March 14, 2013 at 8:04 am

    I always like to wear my standard workout gear and people aren't a problem when I go to the gym
    1. Work in garage in 90+ heat for 2 hours on dirtbike get up a good sweat first.
    2. Don't shave for a week.
    3. Don't comb hair before going.
    4. My workout gear looks like something the Salvation Army threw out.
    The chatty Kathy's don't seem to be a problem. I'm pretty sure it's the shaving, maybe the workout gear.
    Ps I go with my wife usually and the keeps the females from hitting on me.

  2. Gravatar
    Joel Younkins March 14, 2013 at 9:24 am

    There you go Tim!! Let it all out! I have been feeling this way too lately for some reason (must be the cold weather in Ohio). Been trying to write you 2 different articles but they usually turn into 3 different articles meshed together because I got too much crap to get off my chest hahah

  3. Gravatar
    Lukas March 14, 2013 at 9:31 am

    You just about summed it all up!
    I really like the article!

  4. Gravatar
    John Derocher March 14, 2013 at 11:31 am

    That was awesome. Being 45 with kids does nothing for my exercise motivation.

  5. Gravatar
    Michal Mikulski March 15, 2013 at 4:28 am

    Concept2? Super-what? I reallllyyyy need to make a photo of my eastern-european "gym" with the gym residents, and all your problems will go away! ;)

  6. Gravatar
    Pelotrain Athlete Excellence March 15, 2013 at 6:00 am

    Personally I love training in general, good or bad day out but Here are a few of my little peeves that I have seen and heard from people and trainers locally:

    1) Trainers on their cellphones while with clients in a midlle of a training session.

    2) Video's of training facilities/gyms boasting how good they are and you see the client/athlete's form is so wrong when doing excercises.

    3) Muscle heads shouting in each others ears "C'mon you P*%sy lift it, you the man" before doing 1 rep.

    4) LCHF is the only diet to use for serious athletes.

    5) Motocross is a max effort during motos so you have to do max effort intervals

    6) "I want 150% effort" Isnt 100% good enough? I couldnt imagine digging another 50% when I am truelly at 100%. 100% is a dark enough place.

    7) "if you race 20min you have to train 40min motos"

    8) "Your trainer hasnt won any personal MX championships, how good can he be?"

  7. Gravatar
    Racer X Virtual Trainer March 15, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Would love to see some pics Michal.

    John - Those are some good ones, especially the last one.

  8. Gravatar
    Joel Younkins March 16, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    Ok I guess I'll chime in on my thoughts, some general and some MX related..

    1.) instant fitness addicts: seems like every day I see ppl on fb or twitter who become fitness junkies and are all of sudden so dedicated to fitness, train for a year straight at least before you start posting how dedicated you are at training.
    2.) fms: I don't need a fms test to evaluate my athletes. Every day is a functional movenment screen evaluating the way ppl move. Majority of pro athletes would fail the fms and they are making money doing their sport so...
    3.) p90x, insanity, Crossfit, biggest loser: let's keep this moving..
    4.) understanding specific vs general in MX: no I'm not talking about "sport specific" training as that is a buzz phrase in the west but being able to apply general means vs specific training means in sport preparation
    5.) racers making trainers look good: if a pro racer is doing well, then suddenly they work with one of the best trainers in the sport all of sudden.
    6.) training hard: 1st off what the heck does that mean? Secondly you better be putting forth effort if you're a pro or competing at a high level. "Training hard" isn't what separates athletes, doesn't matter if you run, cycle, or whatever to be "fitt" it is everything involved within your own racing and training program and how it works together
    7.) the youth racing system of our future pros: man what a screwed up backwards system of the development of the young at all cost vs developing racers to have fun and progress really seems to be working good right!???

    And that's all I got for now, man that feels good!

  9. Gravatar
    Racer X Virtual Trainer March 18, 2013 at 10:42 am

    I 100% agree with #5....Seems to really be magnified in motocross.

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