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Ridiculous Health Claims

by Mark Sisson, Author


This article is taken with permission from I highly encourage you to check it out.

Was it a mischievous mood, or simply the carbs? Over the weekend your Bees (the people who work for decided to explore (cue drums) the middle aisles of the grocery store. Here’s what we found:

Promax: maxing your chances for diabetes.

We know that candy bars aren’t healthy (duh). How about a nice protein energy bar instead? Surely that’s gonna be nutritious! The Promax Cookies ‘n Cream bar even says so on the upper left corner: “Really Delicious. Really Nutritious.” It’s in red, so you just know it must be true. Plus, it is all natural.

But wait! Looking at the ingredients, we are confused. Granted, we are only bees. The list starts with some decent things, like whey protein and antioxidants (the new glamour children of processed foods). But it quickly turns to the usual suspects found in your average candy bar: high fructose corn syrup, canola oil, dyes and artificial flavorings, starches, and gums. Hmm. Maybe we’ll just get some juice. Juice is healthy, right? Especially if we choose the juice aimed at children, right?

Now this looks great. Nothing artificial, and more antioxidants! Hooray! Let’s take a look at the ingredients. 10% juice. Hmm, maybe we are just bad at math, but we’re pretty sure that means 90% high fructose corn syrup. Oh, look at this! It does contain 90% sweetener! Maybe you have to be a surfer, but this does not seem cool to us.

Time to move on to actual nourishment. Let’s find a convenient meal that is great for adults and kids alike. How about corn dogs? Hey, it says “trans fat free” so that must be healthy! Wait a minute, everything in the frozen section is now trans fat free. But we’ll stick with the corn dogs since they have that special double-dipped honey sweet coating. It’s not real honey or anything, but we’re not really Pooh Bear, so who cares? As long as it sorta-kinda tastes like honey and helps our bellies look decidedly Pooh-esque, it’s all good.

Oh, wait! One of us (ahem) has a problem with corn dogs. Apparently she is too good for mechanically-separated spinal meat. Fine (coughsnobcough). How about some vegetarian sausage? That surely must be healthy! See, low fat! Processed foods can be nutritious!

Oh, but wait. There are over two dozen ingredients in this “sausage”, including all the same things used in the “healthy” energy bar. This is really getting to be depressing. What other aisles are there? Surely there must be some healthy prepared foods somewhere in this dizzying labyrinth of Natural! Trans fat free! Low fat! A good source of some stupid vitamin! No sugar added because it’s already jammed full of it naturally!

Aha! The “snack” aisle. Because the other five aisles of processed, sugar-filled, sodium-bloated crap weren’t “snacks” but rather a healthy part of a balanced obesity epidemic. (Ever notice how all these processed foods say “a healthy part of a balanced meal”? And the picture is always the processed food with an apple or a salad or a glass of milk? What, pray tell, is the processed food bringing to the table?)

But the chip package says “Smart Choices Made Easy”. Finally, something healthy! And the best part about this entire adventure is the fact that the smartest choice in the grocery store is easy. Sniff. It brings tears to the eyes. Where’s the Kleenex aisle?

That's it for now, until next time, good luck with your training and remember, if you have a question, log on to the Virtual Trainer Expert Forum and have your question answered by a panel of experts. In addition, be sure and check out the Racer X Virtual Trainer archive section. Your complete one-stop information zone for motocross fitness. VT Signature

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  1. Gravatar
    milkbone July 15, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Forgive me, but I"m not sure what is being insinuated in the final paragraph (regarding baked lays). Is this in fact a better option, or just as bad as those above.

    Also, with the protein bar, is there a suggested alternative? I"ve been looking for a good, healthy, low sugar/corn syrup protein bar to integrate into my diet/excersize program. Suggestions?

  2. Gravatar
    Rob Styron July 15, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    I am surprised you didn't add Monavie as part of this article. Another company making ridiculous claims.

  3. Gravatar
    Racer X Virtual Trainer July 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Rob - Some people (even those not making any money off of it) swear by it and others say it is worthless. I don't agree with some of the crazy health claims, but I think it can be used as a healthy supplement.

  4. Gravatar
    jeff July 20, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    dont go in the aisles at the grocery stores!! Real food is perishable!! stay around the outside of the store, that stuff goes bad which in turn is good for you. GO PALEO!

  5. Gravatar
    joel June 07, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    to comment on the monavie topic. have you ever got a bottle to try. id sudjest all those who havnt do to voice there opinions. that said i have no claim to boggle your mind but i use it and supply it for my team. i will say it signifigantly improved recovery time. call me biast being a distributor... the finacialy benifts the marketing of such ive seen work. myself i make no money but the money invested in product is worth wile not to mention the added benifit of being able to pronouced the ingredients and theres no need to google them

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